It's a gorgeous Monday morning in Kostanai. The sun is out, it's cold, yet briskly refreshing, and I am drinking my starbucks Breakfast Blend logging into email.
I am happy!
Then, I open an email from my husband, who went to Frenchy's last night with Sean and 2 of our best friends and their boys. Frenchy's is a wonderful restaurant on Clearwater beach, and the place of my very first date with Joe, 14 years ago. They are holding up my favorite beer...Landshark.
My eyes filled with tears and I felt a longing to go home very intense, and a pang of real homesickness hit me.
It's the first time I've felt that since I've been here. Granted, I have certainly not had any reason to be homesick. I have met my daughter the princess, my apt is Mac Daddy, the food is wonderful, the weather has been nothing short of spectacular, and I feel like I am here with my best friends because I am so well taken care of by Tatiana, Ivan,and Eugene. I have been so busy "living in the moment" and thanking God so much for this blessing he has bestowed upon us, I have not really thought about home.
I have been telling Leeza on our walks around the baby house all about Florida, but it does seem like a world away. It doesn't cause tears then, just excitement as I explain to her about how she will love wearing no socks, and no hats, and just one layer.
But, this morning, when I saw the picture of the sunset off Frenchy's, and John Hockin holding my favorite beer, it made my heart hurt.
My worlds are colliding-and I'm ready to introduce Leeza to my world now too!
I'm crying again!! Not sad tears though, happy tears to be here where I am, knowing I will miss it and cherish it forever, but remembering what is waiting for us at home is incredible too!!!
This process, to quote Jennifer Robinson, Aila's mommy, IS SO COMPLEX!
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13 comments:
I think I want to move to Clearwater! No wonder you got a pang of homesickness. You are getting ready for the transition.
Sorry you are feeling the blues but no worries I'm sure once little princess is with you you will not even think about it and then you will be home....
Darlene
Hang in there, Susan! Its actually a wonderful thing to feel homesick. That just means you are blessed with a loving home to long for. Its a good sign. Soon...you'll be home soon.
Well you are perfectly normal. I think everyone goes through this for sure. Those are good tears! That is for sure :) You are almost there, you can do it.. rah rah rah!! Remember all the emotions we talked about on the phone and I agree it is complex! Gena
Hey there,
Its ok to feel this way, but this part of your journey is almost over. Sunsets at Frenchys, the beach, your running friends, everyone is ready for you to come home and Leeza is going to love it. Hang tight... your worlds are close to colliding.. soon you will be back here enjoying our fabulous weather.
Hugs..
Sandi
I think it hit us about the 7th-8th week mark too! I wish we had stayed in Zhez until the very last minute so at least we were in our "new" comfort zone but we thought moving to Almaty would help our homesickness. Nope! Of course, we did not expect to be in Almaty almost 2 and a half weeks but we were really lost there without our Zhez family. You are on the downhill slope....you will be home at the beach soon. I am so excited for you to get Leeza "home" with you at the apt. The distraction will definitely help get you thru the next few weeks. You have done such an awesome job enjoying the experience and remaining positive. These next few weeks may seem harder but they will be the weeks you will forget easily if they are painful once you get home. It is definitely like giving birth in that way....or so I am told! ha!
AND, always remember this sage advice....in the Apt...Duct tape is your friend, your best friend! ha!~
ky Karen
You'll be home soon but will sometimes feel homesick for Kazakhstan. It's strange, really. I think both "worlds" are uniquely wonderful and magical. When these worlds collided, something wonderful happened -- Leeza Grace.
Leeze Grace and the rest of the Serra family are truly blessed to live in such a wonderful place. Someone else said it well -- you establish a new "comfort zone" in Kaz. I truly admire how much you have participated and absorbed while you have been there. You will have all those memories and pictures to share with your daughter from sunny Florida!
Wow! I can see that you love BOTH places. It sounds like you are homesick AND mourning leaving your friends and the baby house in Kazakhstan. I can imagine that this will be an emotional few weeks for the Serra family. Let me know if you need anything.
Hi Chickpea,
Wow, SNOW? And it isn't even October! What a weather & culture shock Leeza has coming her way! I hope you learned how to cook her food so at least that stays the same for her :). And of course she will have her most awesome family there to take care of her and keep her happy. That is great you had a fun night out, even if it did give you tired eyes the next day. :) Be careful at those restaurants with shows. If the "show" involved masked men, please hide!!! I am sure you must have a ton of emotions. It has been quite a journey. And what a golden treasure chest at the end of your rainbow in having Leeza join your family. We are certainly all looking forward to getting you guys home. Maybe you should have Tatiana, Ivan & crew visit Florida sometime?
Love ya!
I almost cried reading your post!!!! You are going to be just fine. Hang in there girlie!!! I'll make sure to pray for more often for you!! Matter of factly, lifting you up now!
love you! And can't wait to meet that girlie...Leeza Grace!
Hold in there.. so soon you will be walking the beach and sharing that beautiful sunset with your princess and the rest of your wonderful family...
I am praying for you!
Tracy
I loved this post. It made me smile in a tender, remembering sort of way. Yes, it is so very complex!
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