I admit it, I have been a "blog slacker". I have had a heavy heart, and I needed to work on that before I posted an update to this adventure in international adoption. It was a rough week last week, and then again this week, with rumors about Kaz closing adoptions, etc. I honestly had no idea when we started this process that it would be so difficult. Parents who want children, children who need families--why is that so difficult? I think if I did not have my yoga, I would be even more a mess than I already am. It just continues to amaze that me that my yoga journey started as a way to slow down and and help my body prepare for a child, and on my quest for a child, it's what sustains me. I am so lucky to have found a wonderful yoga studio with wonderful people. I really need that hour and a half, just to forget about everything and come to peace with this process. It's not easy, but I'm doing better.
The latest we've heard about our LOI is that we are hoping to receive it in May. That is all I know. Sean is out of school the end of May, so that would be fine timing as far as we're concerned. There are days it doesn't seem real.
We are keeping very busy though. Sean made honor roll again (Go Sean) and we are enjoying baseball season. The weather has been gorgeous so that's nice too. We went to some friends house Saturday night and they have an "almost" 18 month old son. He is adorable, and very "shy" and "all about Mommy" right now. It took Sean about 30 minutes, and they were playing hide and go seek and laughing and playing. It was SO cute. My friend commented that she had NEVER seen her son open up to anyone like that. Sean is going to be a really fun big brother. He truly LOVES playing with little kids. Plus, he's so naturally good with them. He got down on MacCaiden's level and just made him laugh. It melted my heart. :)
I have also been busy decorating the kiddo's room. I am really happy with how it looks.
I got a really cool "Children's map of the world" and got it mounted at Michael's. It looks awesome!!
I also found this awesome wooden chest that matches the colors of the room perfectly. The Home Shopping channel makes it home here in St Pete Florida, and I found this in the outlet store for only $35. It holds many books. :)
I got the cutest bookshelf that revolves, but of course it doesn't hold a fraction of the books that we own, but that's ok. It's kid size. It's real cute
And, last, but not least...this is my VERY FAVORITE THING! I had a rug made. We got all our bedrooms redone in hardwood over Thanksgiving. It looks great,but, um, it's not very "soft" to lie around on the floor. So, I had a rug made for Baby Kaz's room. I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! I found a company in California to do it, and it was very pricey, but we are blessed with wonderfully generous grandparents who give us money for Christmas. This year, that money was used for the rug. I think it looks great, and something she or he would cherish forever. If you like it, let me know and I can email you the lady who did it for me. I was so happy, and it's so soft. I keep the door shut so that my cat won't "urp" on it. He's known for that. :)
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25 comments:
Wow Susan - I LOVE the wooden chest - so cool! And the rug... all the things you've gathered for Baby Kaz are beautiful! Did you have someone actually MAKE the rug for you? Awesome...
And I know what you mean about the heavy heart. Sometimes I feel like I need to take a break from it all. I'm actually glad I don't have internet access at home - I don't read blogs and yahoo groups and emial, and instead use the weekends to "decompress" about the adoption and stop stressing so much. During the week, I find myself waiting, waiting, waiting for the phone to ring. Then when it doesn't, I think how ridiculous it was to expect it to happen today. Ugh. You called me the queen of patience on your last comment on my blog. I'm so NOT a patient person! :^) I am probably the world's LEAST patient person. This process has stretched me in SO many ways! But I'm flattered that I come across as patient. Maybe I've made progress on that?!? :^)
Hang in there, and May will be here before you know it!
That rug is SO COOL!!! Our boys share a room for now and there isn't enough room for a Russian and Kaz rug or else I would definitely get one! That is going to be so special!
That is pretty dangerous to have Home Shopping Channel in your backyard. The chest is too cute! :)
Hang in there buddy, your time will come and this all will be a distant memory.
Thank you for ordering TEN cookbooks! You rock
I LOVE the rug! So neat! Does the woman have a website? how did you find her? I'd love to know the info. Email me: monica 1216@ yahoo. com
Thx!
Monica
I understnad the frustration and lowness of this adoption. There have been many times that you have been there to encourage me when I was low.
I'll tell you that this journey is not easy. You're right - here it is mathematically:
children need families + parents wanting children = paperwork + red tape x (frustration / uncertaintainty)
It doesn't make sense to me. It seems like its pretty straight forward but not in the adoption relm.
Know you have a friend here. I know it will happen, it will happen when its right for you - not necessarilly when its convenient, but right in some devine way.
Love the rug! LOVE IT!
I'm going to name that little mathematical equation. Its Theory of Adoption. Maybe we need something squared. square the (frustration/uncertainty) we can even shorten it to PNF+PWC=P+RTx(f/u)squared. Its even better shortened!
The rug is by far one of the coolest Kaz things I've seen! Love it! I know the past several weeks have been tough, but you are now two weeks closer to Baby Kaz. You will get through this and one day soon will be holding your daughter!
I think you are doing VERY well Susan. This is hard stuff, no question about it. But you are being so healthy and creative in your choices! You WILL prevail - I feel it!
Hi Susan!
Love the rug and the wooden chest.
I know this process is so frustrating. This past summer when we were waiting so "impatiently" for our region to reopen was so hard for us, but I look back at it now, and if we had gone much earlier or even later, we may not have our Nicholas. I couldn't even imagine life without this little boy! He is truly the love of our lives.
I think you are doing an awesome job of being patient. Keep it up and try not to get discouraged.
Sonya
I just left a message on Regina and Frank's blog too on the topic... I think that you have to have at least one obstacle or agonizing phase during this process just to prove to yourself - and to your child - that you truly truly wanted him or her. Sort of like a rite of passage or test of bravery. I'm ready for the pain and agony of the wait for the LOI to be over now (9 weeks now - but who is counting?). Uncle! Uncle!
Oh - I forgot to tell you that I love your baby room finds. I'm going to have to look for a map like that too. I have a wall reserved so I can show LB where he came from. And I love the rug - what a great idea. It is beautiful!
Gorgeous items...that rug is to die for! Will you please e-mail me the contact and the price you paid?
Is it just me or does the map look really a lot sparser and open right around Kaz-land? We also have a map in our baby's room. It's more vintage-looking and I actually took a photo of it this weekend to post on the blog later. Maps rock!!
I know exactly where you're coming from on feeling discouraged. There are times I ask myself, "Who am I kidding??? This is not going to happen for us." But you just have to press onward and remember than hundreds of other families had the same thoughts and feelings, and are now cozy at home with their children.
Keep practicing yoga and working on your patience and perseverance. Chances are that it WILL pay off in the long run and this crazy ride will be more than worth it.
Sending you lots of good thoughts and peace of mind.
Cute additions to baby Kaz's room! Especially the rug! That's awesome. We would like to know about it some more. Email us whenever you get a moment. Keep us with the yoga it sounds like it is the ticket to being centered and grounded. Waiting stinks but is well worth it. yOu'll see. Gena
If you put anything else in that room you're going to lose Baby Kaz in it!
Sure do miss you guys!
xoxoxo!
I have to have that rug, please email me the lady who made it. I have had a heavy heart too and I am not even going thru this process. I just know that it is not easy and everyday that goes by that is another day that your children are not home where they belong. Try to be patient(easy for me to say right) your time will come!! Go Sean, he sounds like a wonderful child and he will make a GREAT big-bro. Maybe I should try Yoga!!
Oh and THANKS for ordering 10 cookbooks, you are the WOMAN!!!!!!!!
Hi Susan,
I understand how you're feeling. I know that many feel discouraged. I just keep thinking of those who have gone before us and have their sweet little one to love. It will happen!!
I love what you're doing for your daughters room. You have a gift of getting just the right things together. Oh yeah, it would be dangerous to have a HSN outlet nearby. Beautiful and useful chest! The book rack is so cute too!
Of course I LOVE the rug. Pat has been wanting something with the Kazakh flag. I too would like to have the information & cost about the rug too. Could you send this our way? You have our e-mail addy.
Thanks,
Eileen
The room looks so great. That chest was a find! And the rug . . . very cool.
This is such an intense process. I can understand your need for a break and any way to relax. I guess you just have to toss it all up in the air and let it land where it may. There is just no controlling this process. I have been thinking what you wrote as well - families that can take care of kids, kids that need families, it seems so simple. And, yet, its not. I hope that you go in May.
Yea Sean! Honor roll is awesome and he sounds like he is going to be THE BEST big brother!
"Keep on keepin on" as a friend wrote to me this morning. What else is there to do?
Wow, I love the rug. How cool is that! Baby Kaz will cherish that forever. So cool. The chest and bookstand are neat too. :)
Glad you feeling your way out of the doldrums. It is hard but well worth it.
Wow! That rug is so beautiful and special! (We have hardwood floors, and Roxana has bumped her head more times than I can count. I am afraid she's going to have permanent damage! She has a rug in her room - not a cool Kaz flag rug, though - to buffer her fall, but she usually doesn't fall in there. Go figure.)
I like everything else, too. Looks like you're ready to bring home Baby Kaz. I hope that everything works out and you're able to go in May.
I am so glad you're feeling better, but I know your frustrations are not completely gone. I'm glad yoga helps!
So sorry I can not see the pictures! I am sure it looks very nice! I am sure Sean is going to be a great big brother! I am not the best person to give advices about patience, but I think yoga is something all of us who are going through Kazakhstan adoption should start practicing!
Wow!! You have been BUSY! I adore that chest by the way. Absolutely beautiful.
I am so impressed that you had a Kaz rug made. Wow!
Sean is so sweet. He sounds like such a warm-hearted people person, much like his mother!
I'm so sorry these past few weeks have been so hard. It's so discouraging to hear of even more delays. Especially in this case for the reason given. How frustrating!
On the bright side, May is almost next month! :-)
Go Sean!!!! It is all the books he reads :)
LOVE the rug!
LOVE the rug, so cool! Could you tell me where you found that map? I love it! Baby Kazs' room is so adorable. :)
Having been where you are twice I can say that you are right, there is always something going on that is stretching you. It's not until after the fact that you realize how perfect God's timing really is. Know without a doubt that He is watching over you & has your little girl in his hands & when she is ready he will make everything come together. It just sucks going through the "wait".
Hugs-
Ann
oh, GO Sean! what a great kid. :)
Hey Sean,
Congrats on making honor roll again! That is really amazing. I know it took a lot of time, effort, concentration, and thought. You deserve it - because you earned it! Your mom is so proud of you.
You are really becoming an incredible young man, and you will be a great big brother.
Suzanne & Matthew
Hi Susan,
We are thinking of all of you during this frustrating portion of your adoption journey. It helps to have lots of support although all of the support in the world doesn't really lessen the frustration in the moment. Glad to hear that you have other personal outlets to help you through.
I have wanted to do yoga for years, and have finally found a great place to go. For the past 6 weeks or so I've been able to go almost once a week. I have also found that time incredibly helpful to decompress and regroup after all of the adoption frustrations and also to help now celebrate and really appreciate the joy of where we are now.
Your new finds are fabulous. I am SO impressed with the rug that you had made. What an incredible idea! I am also interested in getting some details from you about the rug, whenever you have time. - oumou99@yahoo.com is my email
It's fun to hear about Sean. It sure does sound as though he'll be a great big brother. The time is around the corner.
You are in our thoughts!
-Kjersten, Steve and Aitugan
Where in the world did you have that rug made? Tell me more! I love love love it too! Your little Kaz will SO appreciate having that. Wow!
I am so sorry that your journey has been filled with so many emotions and concern, I would love to say that this is part of the process, but I think you are experiencing a bit more heavy than is normal in this journey. I think of you two often. I pray for your journey.
It is good that you have your yoga and your running to center you, thank heavens for that. :)
Christy
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