No Tank Tops, No open toed shoes...are you serious??

I have no update on when we're going to Kaz-so, let's talk about something else.

We are going on a big OVERNIGHT 4th grade field trip on May 15th to St. Augustine. It's the OLDEST CITY EVER, and has TONS of Florida history. In 4th grade, the kids learn ALL about Florida history, so this trip is a great way to end the year with a bang. The bus leaves Thursday morning at 6 am. (oh my) Today, we had a meeting for all chaperones about the trip and the RULES. Apparently, this is a very busy time for the sleepy lil town of St. Augustine where they are descened upon by THOUSANDS of 4th graders. {I am thinking that is their version of Pure Hell, ha ha). So, Sean's teacher explained that there will be TONS and TONS of 4th graders from all over Florida and that this is like a "tour on speed". Once we get to St. Augustine, we will get a catered lunch from Subway.The lunch is a turkey sammich with Mayo. If our children don't like that, bring them a granola bar or powerbar from home. There is not enough time to go anywhere else before the first tour. I didn't want to ask if that mayo was "on the side" cuz I hate mayo. Anyway...I can live with that.
As they went over the rules, they said NO OPEN TOED SHOES because we are climbing up a zillion stairs of this lighthouse and they don't allow you in unless you have close toed shoes. I know that's a safety thing, but I LIVE IN MY FIT FLOPS. They're so comfy and so cute. Then, I noticed it said No tank tops and no short shorts and no shirt skirts. I'm down with the no short shorts, but NO TANK TOPS? We live in Florida, and it's hot. So, I raised my hand and asked. Well, I was told, that's the school's rule. They won't tell US what to wear but the kids can't wear them. I said, oh, that's fine, it's just that I HAVE REALLY CUTE JEWELED TANK TOPS FROM STEINMART. I think the teachers think I'm a real pita. Then, they said, the kids look for us to be role models and no talking on the tours. There is so much to hear and see that if they see us talking, they're not likely to listen either. Then, I felt everyone was looking at ME. They also said, NO alcohol, and none in your suitcase. I would not bring any in my suitcase, but a cold beer with dinner would be nice. However, it's not allowed and that's ok too.

So, No cute fit flops, no bejeweled tank tops, no talking, and no beer with dinner after the tour on speed. Doesn't that sound like fun? I am sure it will be really fun, and I'll be with Sean, who is most always fun. Plus, I have lots of good friends going, but, of course, we can't talk.

The last overnight field trip I chaperoned was Jillian's high school trip to New York City. We saw a bunch of broadway shows, etc. I got in trouble from her teacher there too because we were trying to "break the rules" and take some kids back to the hotel to get some warm, dry clothes because we got POURED on during the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. We were pulled aside by the teacher and got the "You are role models" lecture. I thought she was being unreasonable but we complied. I'm such a troublemaker!!!

I will save my bejeweled tanks for Kaz, unless, of course, we don't go until winter now. I still have my boots, and my cold weather stuff, so, I'm set no matter what the season.

"Pure Hell"

Since today is a day of frustration and sadness among many wonderful fellow blogger PAP's after delays, price increases for summer travel, etc, I thought I'd post something unrelated to this adoption journey we're all on and perhaps give everyone something to smile about. The frustration level we all feel is VERY real and we all wish we'd started this process sooner before it become more difficult. Some days, it is does feel like "pure hell" (pardon my french).

Today was "Bring you child to work day". I work part time as a "Boutique lady" at Steinmart. It's a fun job, as I Love to shop and help people shop. Sean really wanted to go, as when I worked full time at a huge corporate Fortune 500 company, it always fell during the week his school took their SAT achievement tests, so he could never go. I was hesitant, just because of the amount of work the poor kid would miss and have to make up. After this weekend of working on his paper for 8 hours, I do not relish another weekend of THAT. However, his teacher assured us that he could make up the work and it was a good day to do this.
Robin, one of my dear friends I've met at Steinmart, coordinated the event. She is a super neat lady, an adoptive mom of 3 herself. There were about 10 kids participating, which is great, as our store is small.

Sean started off in the shoe department, and everytime I walked by, he was working hard. Of course, I was admonished by my co-workers to "LEAVE HIM ALONE!" (LOL) but I wanted to make sure he was behaving. We had 2 lil 7 year old girls in our department at the time and they were just big goofballs. They kept running ( I kept saying USE YOUR WALKING FEET LADIES) and they were LOUD. I have to say, the boys did much better. Anyhow...I digress.
Around 12:30, Sean came running over (walking feet, Sean, Walking feet) and said "Mom-this is PURE HELL!!!" I was like, WHAT?? Watch your language!! He and the other 10 year old boy were in "linens" and the lady there had them unstocking towels and folding them. I guess there were a lot and Sean said while they worked she went in the breakroom. LOL . He said they folded them all and put them on the shelf and then she came out and told them they had to do it all over because the print wasn't showing. I was laughing so hard. He survived, they redid it, then had pizza lunch. Then, he worked in receiving, and the men's department. When it was time to go, he wanted to stay. He had a fun day. He also got a cerficate of completion to show his teacher AND a 20% off coupon to give to his teacher. He said he's not giving it to her because she is mean. She is NOT mean, she is nice, so he is giving it to her.

So, I suppose my moral of the story is that "pure hell" can be defined differently for each of us. To some, parenting children at all would be "pure hell". To others, imagining life without children is "pure hell". To others, the adoption process is surely 'Pure hell" until "heaven" is revealed when they are matched with the perfect child for their family. The process is not easy, and tensions can run high. Not only is the wait hard, the trip is long, and it's not cheap. It's not like you have to wait to go on a 2 week trip, it's coming close to a 3 month trip.

We all have our days of "pure hell" with the mean lady in linens telling us to redo our towels. May we realize how much prettier those towels look with the print showing, and how when we DO get to Kaz, and home again, we will fondly remember our "Hellacious road" to "Heaven" and encourage others to remain steadfast and strong.
Peace be with you fellow PAP's..Peace be with you.

Counting my blessings

I found this note on my laptop this morning. Sean made me a card. It was hard to capture it in the picture , but it melted my heart. My boy sure knows how to make his mommy cry. :)

I wanted to take a moment and thank everyone for all the nice comments and emails that I've received since hearing the news that perhaps any adoptive parent over 50 can kiss their Kaz kid dream "adieu". I was really touched by the outpouring of support. I received another email this morning from my agency that assured us that since our dossier is already out of the embassy, and thru the MOE, that our journey is not affected. However, really, one never knows. I'm not sure why it happened to the poor other couple, and my heart goes out to them as well. Rumors are that this law is expected to pass this time, although, some of said, not until November. I'm not ready to exhale yet, nor will I until we're home with the Kaz kid in the ergo.

All the love and support I felt truly helped me get thru a rough time. I am so thankful and incredibly grateful for my loving family and community. I am focusing on the things in my life that I can control, and I have many of those. That being said, Sean had a half day at school on Monday. He has been working SO VERY HARD at school so we played hookey (I told his teacher on Friday) and spent the day in the most magical place on earth. Sean really "stepped it up" this weekend. He got his entire state report typed on my laptop (2 hours on Saturday, and 6 hours on Sunday). He worked on his speech in the car on the way, and his math and spelling on the way home. I was so very impressed with his dedication to the cause. :)
We had a FANTASTIC DAY together. He is just a delightful blessing in my life. We have our "Disney routine" which starts with egg mcmuffin's for breakast the McDonald's drive thru. We encountered much larger crowds at the park then we are used to, but that didn't phase our good moods. Whenever Sean saw lil kids crying, he'd look at me and say "How can these kids be crying--they're at DISNEY!!" It was so funny. We were in line for Splash Mountain and a lil boy behind us was jumping up and down, like Tigger. Sean looked at me and whispered in my ear "I think he has to go the bathroom." I cracked up. The lil boy's mom got a kick out of that too. Nope, no potty dance, just a very excited 4 year old. :)

Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE a kiddo from Kaz to love, BUT, if it decided that that is not in the cards for us, then I cannot "cry over spilled milk." I am truly blessed with a wonderful son, a generous and loving stepdaughter (who offered to be our surrogate if Kaz fell thru, amazing offer..) and a great stepson. I have a wonderful husband who supports me unconditionally.
I would like another child to love. I think another child would be fun to bring into our family. If she or he is not from Kaz, then I hear there are thousands of kids right in Florida who need parents.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everyone's wonderful thoughts and prayers. They are TRULY felt.

Has my greatest fear come to fruition?

This has not been confirmed by my agency, (yet) but this email came accross just now on the yahoo boards. This has been my fear ever since these rumors surfaced. My wonderful husband is a "young 52" but is 52 nonetheless.

4/19 Saturday morning UPDATE: First of all, I am overwhelmed by the sweet emails I have received from many of my blogger friends. It really DOES help to know that I have friends out there who care about us. THANK YOU. I did hear back from my agency yesterday, and my case worker said that there is a family in country right now who is over 50 and they are matched with a child. She said they are NOT aware of this and she is trying to get me more information. I saw another post yesterday that said the draft family code was introduced in parliament this week. I believe that is the code that has the age provision. The email said it was not one of the priority pieces of legislation but it is expected to pass in the next 2-3 months, but of course, that could change.
So, I don't really know much more than I did yesterday. I know that what we read on the yahoo boards needs to be taken with a grain of salt until it's confirmed for us by our agency, but it's hard to remove your emotions when this rumor has repeatedly resurfaced. Amazing how your mind starts jumping to conclusions even when you are trying to tell it NOT too. I am doing MUCH better than yesterday, because of my wonderful supportive blog friends, and my husband is pretty sweet too. THANK YOU EVERYONE for your warm thoughts and prayers. I feel them, I really do.

Is this why it's taken so long for us to get an LOI?

I may have a gorgeous Kaz rug for sale if anyone is interested.

My heart is breaking. I think it's time to resort to Plan B. Of course ,I am not sure what Plan B is, but I have a gorgeous decorated nursery, and love for a child, so there will be a plan B. I just fed ex'd a copy of new fingerprints off the the FBI yesterday. What a waste of time and effort. I feel angry, bitter, and overwhelmingly just really, really, sad.

Here is a copy of the email:

April 17 just became the worst day of our lives. We recieved what we
thought was "The Call" from our agency, they had an update on our
dossier. Our dossier was rejected, the reason being Kazakhstan will no
longer accept families with anyone over 50. I guess this is a cultural
thing, the average life expectancy is 58 in Kaz and they couldn't
understand why someone over 50 would want to adopt a child. We were
told this is something new and has never happened before and that it is
retro and will effect everyone no matter where in the process you're at.

So after almost 2 years of hard work 1 year and 1 month of waiting for
the call it wasn't the call we hoped it would be.

Please let me know if this is happening to anyone else.

This is such a bombshell WE have never felt so much pain in our lives.

We'll explore other options but all we really know is Kazakhstan is no
longer an option.
If you are over 50 or close to it I would reconsider International
Adoption it is risky and can change in a second.

We are now over $6,000 in the hole and have nothing to show for it
other a bunch of loan bills and a stack of now useless paperwork.

I just want save others from the PAIN and HEARTBREAK we are now going
thru.

Happy Birthday Sean!!

My "baby" turned 10 yesterday--Tax Day-April 15th. We were discussing what a "big deal" this birthday was because now he's "double digits". He thinks he's a "teenager" now. I said, NO, you are not a teenager, you're just in double digits. However, my son is gifted and advanced, because he already has the SASSY FRASSY ATTITUDE of a teenager. :)
I made a cookie cake for his 4th grade class, and iced it, and he decorated it. It was really pretty ugly and hard to read Happy b-day, but he loved it and the kids devoured it. I didn't take a picture because it was unsightly. :)

He chose Roy's for his birthday dinner-it was SO good!
His "cake" was their yummy chocolate souffle...to die for. :)



For his birthday, he wanted a baseketball hoop, but we can't have them in our deed restricted neighborhood, unless you drag them in and out of the garage. Joe gets home too late to help us adjust it each time, so he couldn't get that. But, he got Jerome (bought that early) and a new Nintendo DS gaming system and 4 games. I figured that'd be fun to entertain him if we ever get to Kazakhstan.

When he woke up on his birthday, I asked him if he wanted his presents NOW, or to wait until dinnertime. He said, "I'll wait until dinner." I was surpised, but I said oh, ok. Then he said, "What would you PREFER I do? " I told him it didn't matter to me, it was HIS BIRTHDAY. He told me he'd thought it'd be more "mannerly" if he waited to open them later. I assured him he could open them anytime, so, he opened them right away. So, excuse his "shabby chic" look. Of course, not that he ever combs his hair anyway-he's a 10 year old boy. :)


We had a very nice dinner and the birthday boy had a nice day. Ten years have really flown by. It's hard to believe it's gone by so fast.
I try to remember that while we wait to travel to meet our newest family member.
No news. :( But, I am busy getting new FBI prints, new medical forms, new warranty deeds and bank letters since things are expiring. There are MANY families waiting to travel to Kostanai, so I am not sure when we will go. I am making plans for May though, as though we are here. We have some fun things to look forward too, including a weekend family retreat with our church, and a 4th grade overnight trip to St. Augustine, Florida. We have 6 weeks of school left. I would much prefer to finish the year out. I think we will actually not only SURVIVE 4th grade, but I will brag and say Sean not only survived, he thrived. He did really well this year and learned a lot.

Big shououts to Bill and Khadine who will be getting custody of their son as soon he he gets better (they have had court and their 15 day waiting period is OVER! ) Suz and Matt who are adopting the 2 children that were OBVIOUSLY meant to be their children, to Amy who just picked up Karina and is headed home soon, to Karen and Glenn who are traveling this week, Eileen and Patrick who are traveling soon to a RESORT no less, Regina and Frank who are also traveling this month (probably) and here's hoping Shannon gets her court date soon so she can go pick up her princess Alexa.
I am truly blessed to have met all these wonderful people in our quest for "Baby Kaz".
Please say a prayer for a friend I've come to really like who found out she won't be traveling this weekend as expected. My heart goes out to her and her family. This process is so hard.

In closing-here is a cute family pic our waiter took at dinner last night. :)

Introducing...Jerome

This week is spring break for Sean. We have had a fun week hanging out together. I have to say, I really do enjoy spending time with my son. He is such an interesting character to hang out with (most of the time!). Today, we went out to breakfast at John's pass, right on Madeira Beach. It's a touristy type place, with lots of shops on the boardwalk. I think it's been a year since we've been there last, but Sean has a favorite shop in there, called "Grandma and Grandpa's puppets". Sean had his money he won in the Easter egg hunt, but I told him I would buy him a puppet as his first birthday present. He turns 10 in 2 weeks on April 15th.
Jerome is the puppet he chose. I thought of his name. :) Sean buckled him in the seatbelt in the car, and wants to buy him a Jerome Bettis jersey for a change of clothes. He cracks me up. He is cuddling with him on the couch right now. You can't really see it, but Jerome's shirt says...Life is short, Pray Hard, and has a picture of the bible in the middle. He is also wearing Red high tops (look like converse) and his a chain hanging from his neck and from his pocket. He is one COOL dude. :)
When we first started discussing adoption as an option to expand our family, we were researching countries. Sean really wanted to adopt an 8 year old boy from Ethiopia. Well, we didn't go that route, but now he has his buddy Jerome. :) We have decided he is 5. :)

We also picked out 2 adorable puppets to play with Baby Kaz with. One is a cow, and it came with 2 finger puppets-a carton of milk and lil pig. They are velcro, and the tongue is velcro on the cow. HA! The other one is a pink bear, and it has a mini puppet that comes with it. Very cute!! I figured we'd have fun playing with them together. Man-this child has a CRAZY big brother, WELL, 2 big brothers if you count Jerome. :)




We hit the beach this afternoon (Jerome stayed behind, as I told Sean he would get too sandy). It wasn't the most relaxing trip, because Karen and Ryan came with us. Ryan is my buddy who spent the night a couple months back and slept in the crib. He will be one on April 24th. Sean is great at the beach-he skimboards and I read magazines. Well, going with Ryan wasn't as relaxing. He likes to eat sand. :)
I figure I may as well enjoy relaxing low maintance time on the beach now. :)